We went to a Gorgeous Georgian play-what-you-like thing, and I wore my big, pink, princessy bouncy dressing-up thing, with LOTS of blusher and a beauty spot and Mummy’s bright red lipstick. Tilly and Elise (who came too) wore normal every-day clothes: Tilly wearing an orange top and shorts and Elise wearing three-quarter grey track-suit bottoms and a jumper and a top.
First Debbie (Elise’s mummy), Molly (Elise’s teenage sister) and Mummy sat on our carpets and talked. While doing so, us three disappeared to explore. First we rolled down some bumpy hills. Then we did some crime scenes on Elise’s phone. There was a stone ancient bath tub. I was the victim – me, a gorgian princess, me, fine-looking (hopefully) – and I had to climb into it and pretend to be washing in the bath. Then I’d shout, “AAAAGGGHHH! Spider! Somebody, please help!” and I’d leap out of the bath and ran away. A few seconds later, Matilda, the crinimal came and caught me. I squealed, rather loudly, trying to hope it would work (which it didn’t), “I am naked! And don’t even THINK of touching my bouncy, fat and floppy boobies!” Then Tilly secretly gave me a foot-up to a rather high wall before the next video. Then, CLINK, CLINKITY CLINK CLINK! I guessed Elise had pressed the ‘GO’ button, and Tilly held my skirt and yanked me down. “Oh, you dotty brat!” I yelped, shaking my dress and glaring meanily at Tilly, “Now my dress is totally covered in wet mud and bogey-coloured grass! This is NOT appropriate – even if I am only seven years old! Oh, I mean 31 years old! Not appropriate, most certainly not!”
Then I put my dress inside out while making den on the bench. “Why you doin’ that?” Elise asked, looking very interested and wise. “You’ll see, Elise. Wait paitently, dearie.” I straightened it out, and I immedietly turned into a Pirate Princess! (Because some dresses when you turn it inside out they are a different picture on it, and mine was a pirate princess.)
Then we did skittling. You had two coconut-looking balls, not exactly round, and you had to knock the king skittle (among the other skittles) by itself. Only 2 people got it once. Although they were teen-age looking! Ha ha! Goodbye, my Gorgeous princes and darling little Anne! Julian, come here! Dick, my boy, how you feeling in the hot sun for a change? Mr. Roland, and Uncle Quentin, go and fetch Little Georgina! Or may I say – George?!