It was the last of the two-day drama workshop, and it, too, was the day of the real show! We were all very excited – I can tell you that – and we were just maybe a little too excited to get in order. It took forever for us to stop messing around (well, if I must say myself, I was listening) and actually get into the lines! We did The Story of Bob, Black Magic (where I was bubbling with hatred when I got round to doing it), The News, X-Factor, etc. I’ll tell you more about them later on.
To start with, we rehearsed over our Bob Story. Keith changed it a little, but I think that his story was much better than ours 😉 I’ll recite as much of it as I can remember:
Bob was born (Sam comes out from under the chair Olivia was sitting on). It was difficult birth (“Ow ow ow” Olivia complains in boredom). Bob grew up to be a handsome boy (everyone shakes their heads in mocking despair). He went to school. He was very popular (all the boys chosen push Sam around laughing). All the girls loved him (all the girls chosen throw their handbags at him and shake their heads once more in despair). He was a hit with the teachers (Sam walks over to the remaining kids, who have hands on their hips and pointed fingers. He turns away as if he never came that way at all).
But Bob soon left school. He got a high-powered job in a business office (Sam stands sweeping the floor). There he meets the girl of his dreams: Enid (I stand on stage with my arms crossed, entirely dissatisfied). The love between them was obvious to everyone (I turn with my back to Sam and stamp my foot as loud as possible) until Cedric, the love rival, appears in the scene. He takes Enid away (Isabelle grabs my arm and pulls me off stage). Enid was devasted to leave Bob (I throw my arms up in glory and do the best silly dance I can).
It keeps going like this. I think the best bit was when Cassie says, “Whooshah!” and, in her place as Elsey the friendly prison cook, literally jumps off her feet and lands on the floor in a mummy-crossed-arms position. And the bit when Keith reads out, “And then Bob accidentally brutally murders somebody.” and Lucy comes on the scene. Bob taps her shoulder and points. Lucy’s eyes follow the direction and look around to see nothing. Bob sticks an imaginary knife in her head and she falls down. (I think Lucy must have practiced her dying position lots, since she doesn’t hesitate at all. She just dies. She can do that thing where you stand up and, arms forward, fall onto the ground straight away.)
We danced to Sax, too, and the awful Black Magic. I don’t understand why people like that appawling, screeching, teenage racket! Instead, we should have the Country Death Song – Get your youngest daughter and push her down the well… 😉
We did lots about the news, and X-Factor judging the audience, etc. I found it really fun!
