We went to London to see the Houses of Parliament – a huge palace-looking thing (with the Big Ben attached on it) where they choose the laws. Once every year, Queen Elizabeth II would come and do a big long speech of what her opinion was. Then she’d go home and the MPs (standing for ‘Members of Parliament’) would discuss without her. I know it sounds like they leave her out, but after all, she has a colossal throne made of dark oak wood and gold – and we saw it – it stretched right up to the ceiling and even then was crawling across it!
There was the House of Commons, where we went first. There, everything was green – the seats were green, nearly everything but the dark oak wood was green. The speaker is a few levels down from Queen Elizabeth II, and he sat on a marvellous chair too, only shorter, and instead of gold and dark oak wood, it was green leather and dark oak wood. When you want to talk, you have to stand up and be let to by the speaker, and pretty constantly he had to tell people off and put them in the naughty chair (they actually did this) for being shouty or calling someone by their name or a liar. You were meant to call them ‘My Right Honourable Friend’ even if you really hate them and want them to be put in the Chokey. (For further information, please watch the film ‘Matilda’.)
There was another house, the House of Lords. This was all the royal colour (red), where all the benches and seats where red and dark oak. This is where the Queen’s throne is, but like I said, she only reads out a speech, but then goes. She’s allowed to use the entrance in Victoria’s Tower which leads into the Houses of Parliament – but she’s ONLY allowed inside the House of Lords, NOTHING but that particular house. To be a Lord now, you have to be a friend of a Lord so that they think, ‘he’s/she’s my friend, I have to like their laws!’, or you pay loads of money or you inherit it from your parents…which are all bad. You should have to have huge tests and a great personality and mind and you have to – you have to be good at it.
Our Prime Minister now, David Cameron, is a bit of an idiotic eejit. Don’t believe me? Listen to this story..
One day, David wanted to show everyone how normal he was, so he rode his bike up to the shops. But, he was being slightly stupid and tied his bike to a bollard, came back from the shops and his bike was gone. To see answers, please look on the next paragraph.
Someone had lifted the chain off the bollard and ridden his bike away! Hehehehehehehehehe! Hohohohohohohohohohohohoho! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
On the train journey there, a lady gave us a questionnaire of the train company. I don’t think she’d be happy with our answers and asterisks – they were all ‘poor’ or ‘very poor’. The asterisks always said something like: The benches and shelters were very poor because there weren’t any. Or maybe: I’d like a teddy-bear shop by the new shelter you WILL build. You know what I mean. And don’t forget: I am NOT going in the toilets as they are squalid!
We also did this Houses of Parliament Workshop. We were doing this ‘Make Your Own Laws’, but the boy pretending to be the speaker didn’t give us the slight chance to speak. :[] So, we had to study a law of ‘Everything is Free’. Me and Tilly thought this was a bad law, as we decided that what if you wanted to buy a huge, magnificent jewel and it was for free? Shouldn’t that jewel be expensive or probably priceless?
We had lunch in a restaurant called Wagamama. I had the vegetable katsu with the curry sauce. Tilly had cod cubes and Mummy had ramen, a posh soup-thing. It was tasty, and I had a most magnificent curry sauce! Although I couldn’t hold the adult chopsticks and used the baby ones, I was still dropping the butternut squash in the curry sauce and dropping rice all over my cucumber!
We went on the London Eye too. Our Blue Peter Badges didn’t apply to the London Eye, but the lady was a very kind one and let us on anyway! Even though we had no idea who the whatsit this little boy was in the capsule below us, we started this Waving Phase and kept saying ‘Hi, boy we’ve never seen before!!!!’ and waving. It was pretty silly, but rather funny. They also had little computers to see where the huge things were like ‘Victoria’s Tower’ or ‘Cleopatra’s Needle’ or something like that.
Then we went to the ‘London Dungeons’, and everything was really scary, but more-a-less the same as last year. There were these really annoying Russian school-kids there who kept pushing and shoving everybody. At one point, Mummy was holding my hand and they all were pushing me, and Mummy could only see my little arm coming out from between them. So, she shouted at them.
“Stop pushing! Now! All of you! It is very, very rude!” Then she turned round and muttered, “Jesus Christ!”
Then we tried to go to the Sealife Centre, but unfortunately it was shut for an event. So instead, we decided to walk along the river before we got the train home. We saw Cleopatra’s Needle up close, and the two Sphinx statues along the side of it. Did you know that it came all the way from Ancient Egypt, and it was made in 1500BCE – that’s approximately 3500 years ago…a long, long time…
In Ancient Egypt, thy had loads and loads of obelisks. But the question is: how did they get the huge bit of rock, pick at it, move it and everything without a crane or lorry?
Next time we go to London, we’ll have to make sure the Sealife Centre is actually open, and hopefully we’ll get some sushi!