Rating: 2/5
Some pilgrims once made a pilgrimage journey up to Canterbury Cathedral, where they could touch the Holy Relics of Thomas Becket. On the way they stopped at an inn led by Harry Bailey, a good friend of Geoffrey Chaucer, who was the author and main character of the original book. The meals at the inn were amazingly scrumptious, so the innkeeper set up a challenge. Whoever could tell the best story on the pilgrimage won a free dinner. They drew straws on who would start the competition first.
The Knight’s Tale: Chivalry and Rivalry
The short straw happened to be picked out by the Knight, who set to work on his tale and with high confidence too. It was about two prisoners of war, called Palamon and Arcite. They were captured by Duke Theseus, and taken off to Athens, where they remained in a single prison cell. One day, whilst Palamon was balancing on a stool to stare out of the arrow window, Theseus’ sister-in-law, Lady Emily, made her way into the gardens. When Arcite saw her also, the two fell in love. But Theseus guessed it, and banished the latter from the kingdom on pain of death. He pined for Emily, and oh, how he pined! One dark night, when the gaoler forgot to lock the door, Palamon escaped, and found Arcite trying to see Emily in the light of the morning. When Theseus found them, arguing over who loved her the very most, he sent them immediately to a joust. It was Palamon who won, and Palamon who won the lady, whether she wanted him to or not.
The Miller’s Tale: A Barrel Full of Laughs
The next tale was told by the Miller. He was the worst enemy of one of the pilgrims, the Reeve, who was known as Oswald. So he created a rude story about him. There was once a Reeve called Oswald. He fairly stupid and rather foolish. He had a beautiful wife called Alison, but she had no interest in him, and more in one of the lodgers of her inn, a fair, handsome and educated man called Nicholas. One very dark, Alison and Nicholas had locked themselves in a room underneath Oswald, and were performing rather personal business that Alison must have been dishonest to do. Suddenly there was a knock on the window, and Absalom, one of the fair maiden’s lovers, began to whisper things like, ‘Alison! Cooey! Baby bubbles! Chickadee! Give me a kiss, won’t you?’ Simply to shut him up, Nicholas said, ‘Of course, Absalom, how I love you so! But do shut your eyes, it isn’t suited for a man like you to see his lover in her nightclothes!’ when Absalom shut his eyes and pursed his lips, Nicholas ran forward and planted a kiss on them!
But Absalom felt the tickling stubble on his chin, and ran to get a branding-iron. He came back asking for yet another kiss, and when Nicholas stuck the seat of his fabric trousers to him, he pushed the burning hot iron to it, and that was the end of that!
The Nun’s Priest’s Tale: The Nightmare Beast of the Firebrand Tale
Once there was a beautiful cock, with a brilliantly coloured ruffle of feathers and a red breast and golden-brown crest. His wife, the beautiful hen, thought that he was rather a silly coward when he was terrified of a bad dream. But that very morning, the great beast in his dream came along and almost devoured him! Then so did a fox! But on both times the cowardly cock managed to get away, and that was the end of that.
The Reeve’s Tale: A Racket at the Mill
There was once a miller called Matthew, and he was quite crafty, for whenever anybody asked for him to grind their grains to flour, he would take half of their flour for himself, and keep it in his bedroom with his wife! So one day, two crafty customers came along with two bulging sacks of flour, and at night, they sneaked into Matthew’s bedroom and took the flour back for themselves!
The Scholar’s Tale: The Test of a Good Wife
Lord Walter was a lord of high land and quality, yet he had not married, and his people feared that he might not have an heir. So when they said to him, ‘Lord, do you not think it acceptable that, just perhaps, you might marry for an heir?’ Walter agreed, and found a beautiful slave-girl called Griselda, who, despite her rags, he had loved for a long time. So, just to test that she might be suitable, when she gave birth to a much-loved baby girl, he took her away! Griselda said, however, ‘Well, if it is what darling Walter wants, the dear must have what he wishes,’ and handed the baby over to the servant. Even when she had a boy, the same request and answer was given. Griselda was a good wife.
But Walter was adamant his test wasn’t finished yet. Later, he said to Griselda, ‘I have realised now that I am a good lord, you a peasant woman, and that our conditions do not suit each other. I have chosen another bride, another pageboy, and soon more sons and daughters. You, however, must help me prepare the wedding, before taking yourself back to your ramshackle hut and living there without the pride I believed you deserved. Now, however, I realise that it is impossible for you to live with such luxuries.’
But his bride, Griselda discovered, was her daughter, the pageboy was her son, and soon she was married with Walter again and the test joke was over.
The Wife of Bath’s Tale: What a Woman Most Desires
There once was a man who, when he met an adorable young maiden one day in the wood, he instantly spoke of kisses and beauty and value, instead of the weather. That was rather unbecoming for a young knight of his age, and when King Arthur heard, he immediately brandished his sword for the chop. Queen Guinevere, however, as a joke, almost, told the frightened but brave knight that he would not be executed if, within a year and a day, he could find out what a woman would most desire. That was the final word.
So hastily the knight, whose name I must tell was Sir Salvio, got on his horse and marched off into the daylight. He met lots of women and young girls, and to all of which he asked what she would most desire. A dancing gypsy girl required fun, a beautiful lady demanded beauty, and finally, an old washerwoman said that the only thing true women wanted was their own way. Salvio wrote down the many answers he got, and a year and a day later, he came up to Queen Guinevere, and said, thinking quickly, ‘Her own way.’
Much to his surprise, the fair queen clapped her hands with joy, and said, ‘Yes, yes my dear Sir Salvio, you are correct! Who told you this? A young man of prejudice like yours would not guess that within a million years! Who, my dear? Who told you?’ and the old, warty, wrinkled washerwoman appeared. Soon King Arthur had forced the two to marry, much to Sir Salvio’s disliking and despair. The washerwoman said, as they lay far apart in bed, ‘I thought, you know, you would like me better being ugly. If you go off to a battle, you mustn’t worry that anybody would take me for themselves; you know, pretty women are always flirting with different men. But would you rather I was as pretty as you wanted me to be?’ upon his answer, she turned herself into a lovely, beautiful, most fair maiden that he dreamed he could love. ‘I shall make it so I am pretty, loving, but most of all, loyal. I shall be of a true heart to you!’ and it ended happily.
The Pardoner’s Tale: Death’s Murderers
There were once some men called Grab, Cut, and Dip. They decided that, being rather drunk, they were going to kill this strange ‘Death’ man. On their way to find him, they saw a man who said that he had seen Death crouched underneath a tree some way off. But when the three drunkards found the tree, the old wizened man had gone, and left under the tree a pot of pure gold, much like one found underneath a rainbow!
Grab and Cut sent Dip to buy some wine. On the way, Dip poisoned two of the bottles. When his two drunk mates killed him because they wanted more share of the money, they also were killed by their wine. And so continued Death.
Geoffrey Chaucer’s Tale: A Gem of a Poem
What I found actually quite annoying was that when the main character of the book, Geoffrey Chaucer himself, made his tale, it was a poem that nobody really liked. Half way through the innkeeper Harry Bailey said, ‘If he is going to make us listen to his poem about whatever it is, he can think again!’ and when somebody asked if he was going to do another, different tale, Harry said, ‘No, he is not, because he has such ignorance he does not know one!’ I didn’t quite understand why he said this, being Geoffrey’s best friend, but he did, and that is all I can say about the matter.
The Franklin’s Tale – Love on the Rocks
Once there was a fair maiden called Dorigen, and she married a man called Arveragus. Another man known as Aurelius was deeply in love with Dorigen. One day Arveragus left on a voyage, saying to his lover that he would come back rich and less pitiful. Every night the beautiful lady would look down at the rocks and hope that her husband wouldn’t kill himself in the ship if he crashed on them. So whilst Aurelius was talking about his love for her, she joked around and said, ‘I would love you with all my heart if you could only make those rocks on the shore disappear. Then I promise I would love you.’
So Aurelius left to find a conjurer, and told him to make all the rocks on the bay’s shore disappear. When he had done so, Arveragus was back, and when Dorigen noticed that all the evil, sharp rocks had gone, she asked her husband what to do. ‘Go,’ he had said. ‘Take away your silly promise to that silly man and love him. Go there every day and do what you must. Forget about me.’ And he walked away.
Aurelius and Arveragus were both loyal. Aurelius told Dorigen that if her husband was such an overwhelmingly brilliant man, she may keep him. The end.
The Magistrate’s Tale: Snowy Crow
Once upon a time, Crow was as white as snow, and pretty, too, with a much less harsh voice than nowadays, and he sung the most amazing songs. His master had a very pretty wife, and when Crow saw a young man who was not his master kissing the kind lady, he immediately chirped for his master. The old man got so angry he killed his wife, and then regretted it deeply. He said that Crow had lied, and before he knew it, the poor bird had been conjured to a blackened Crow that now everybody knows.
The Canon’s Yeoman’s Tale: Fool’s Gold
There was once a crafty man who fooled another into thinking that he could make silver with his ingenious invention. However, he simply poured some chemicals and acids into a funnel and while the other man wasn’t looking, slipped in an ingot of silver. When he saw the trickling stream of hot liquid running out the funnel, he thought that he had silver. However, the man was just tricking him and ran off with the money the other gave him to see silver.
The Friar’s Tale: Going to the Devil
This was a tale that I didn’t understand much, and I thought could be replaced with a better one because of this, but I knew that it was about a Summoner and the Devil. That is all I knew because it was quite a difficult one.
The Merchant’s Tale: Old January and Young May
Once there was an old man called January, who married a sixteen-year-old girl known as May. She was very pretty, but she had nothing for January, and only loved a boy her age who worked in his house, called Damian. In his old age, January soon went blind, and May craftily took Damian into the secret garden and climbed up a pear tree, sharing the same pear and knowing that January couldn’t see them doing it. But there was a god up in the tree with them, and he made it so that his ability to see was brought back again. Immediately he saw the sixteen-year-old- boy and girl, and knew that his love had been ruined. But fortunately for her, May made up a story so that January believed that she still loved him, and together, she could love January and Damian.
I found this book great in some parts, boring in others; alright in others, difficult to understand in others, and so on.