Rating: 5/5
Mr and Mrs Twit were those sort of people that thought they could get away with crime. In this case, however, they were quite right, because they were so fearful, and their house was so much like a prison, and their garden was covered in so many nettles and thistles, that nobody dared to go inside to tell them their rights and wrongs. They could indeed go to the shops and buy a gun each and nobody would mess with them. They could tie each other up and launch each other into the skies, and nobody would report them. In fact, they could do quite a lot of things and get away with them entirely.
They played lots of hilarious and well-thought tricks on each other, but spent all of their main time teaching monkeys tricks themselves. They made Muggle-Wump and his wife and his children spend six hours of their day and six hours of their night upside down. Fully upside down, mind, either stacked up on top of themselves, or each separate and spread out on their balancing beam (a stick), but always upside down and miserable. So one day, while Mr and Mrs Twit were outside shopping for machine guns, the excited monkeys got the Roly-Poly Bird to help them to escape from their cage, and with all the birds for miles round, they painted the ceiling of the Twits’ home in glue.
Why? The monkeys and the birds all smothered the whole house apart from the floor in glue, and then they stuck the furniture to the ceiling, the paintings to the walls, and everything everywhere. So that when cruel Mr and Mrs Twit entered the room, they thought they were upside down. Previously, two crafty ravens had splattered glue on the matted heads of the foul creatures, and when Mr Twit ordered both of them to get down on their heads so they felt the right way round, they were stuck to the floor.
And that was the end of them.